Stop Pointing Fingers: Step In to coach, mentor & help instead

Finger-pointing is a common habit in many workplaces, team, and even family settings. It’s the quickest response when something goes wrong:

• “You did this wrong.”

• “You should have done it differently.”

• “Why didn’t you do it this way?”

It’s easy to judge, It’s easy to critique, It’s easy to comment from a distance.

But none of these behaviours build capability, confidence or culture. Leadership is not about pointing at the problem it’s about stepping into the arena and contributing to the solution.

Criticising Is Easy. Leading Requires Courage.

Criticism costs nothing, it doesn’t require involvement, it doesn’t require skill, it doesn’t require ownership. But leadership demands all three. When something goes wrong, the question isn’t:“Who can I blame?”The question is:“How can I help?”

This is the mindset that separates managers from leaders and critics from contributors.

Theodore Roosevelt captured this difference perfectly in his famous “Man in the Arena” quote:

“It is not the critic who counts…The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood…who strives valiantly,who errs and comes short again and again,because there is no effort without error and shortcoming.”

Roosevelt’s message is simple: People who critique from the sidelines are irrelevant.Those who step in, take responsibility, and try they matter.

What Effective Leaders Do Instead of Pointing Fingers

1. They Offer a Helping Hand

Instead of highlighting what went wrong, effective leaders focus on what needs to happen next, support builds confidence & criticism builds fear.

A leader’s job is to enable progress, not reinforce mistakes.

2. They Guide and Mentor

People do better when they understand why something matters and how to improve it. Guidance creates growth. Mentoring develops long-term capability.

Judgment does neither.

3. They Model the Behaviour They Expect

If you want excellence, show excellence.If you want accountability, demonstrate it.If you want ownership, practice it yourself.

People follow what you do, not what you say.

“Model the Way” is one of the highest-performing leadership behaviours because it removes ambiguity and replaces it with clarity.

4. They Coach Forward, Not Backward

Criticism focuses on what went wrong.Coaching focuses on what can go right next time.

A coaching leader asks:

• “What did you learn?”

• “How do we improve this next time?”

• “What support would help you succeed?”

This moves people forward instead of keeping them stuck in the mistake.

Why This Matters in Today’s Workplace

Stress is high, expectations are high, workload is high. Your team doesn’t need more judgment they need leadership that builds, supports and equips them to succeed.

People thrive when they feel:

• supported

• guided

• trusted

• challenged

• safe enough to grow

They disengage when they feel:

• judged

• blamed

• belittled

• exposed for every mistake

Finger-pointing destroys confidence. Leadership builds it.

The Question Every Leader Should Ask

Before commenting on someone’s mistake, pause and ask yourself:

“Am I pointing at the problem, or am I contributing to the solution?”

This single question changes how you lead, how people respond to you and the culture you create around you.

Final Thought: Step Into the Arena

The world has enough critics, it has enough commentators, it has enough people who point at faults but never offer solutions.

What we need across workplaces, communities, familie, and teams are leaders who:

• step into the arena

• take responsibility

• support others

• coach, guide, mentor and model the way and correct behaviours

• lift people up instead of tearing them down

Finger-pointing is reactive.Leadership is intentional.

Real leaders don’t judge from a distance or the sidelines, they step up into the arena to be counted, they step forward, get involved and make things better.

— Lloyd Munyaviri, L2M Coaching www.L2MCoaching.com